Just Another Day on the Ground, Murphy and Emori
by BlodreinaBeauty
Summary: John Murphy-the cockroach falls in love with Emori, the survivor. Together they find love and happiness even as the world is ending. This is a series of one-shots through out their relationship. The connect with the story just as if they could have happened. Murphy falling in love. Their late nights in the woods. Their break up. Their reconnection. I don't own anything the 100.
1. Murphy's Nightmare

**John and Emori have been out in the woods with each other for a while. This is before A.L.I.E. takes over. Murphy has a nightmare and Emori is there for him. Please review and leave comments about what you might like to see in a one-shot from the 100. Enjoy!**

He wakes with a jump beside me. I thought he had been sleeping so nicely until then. We have been stealing from scoundrels in the woods for a few days together now. We had slept together too but this was a much more vulnerable situation.

The strong, selfish and sometimes stupid, John Murphy sits up with panic on his face and his shaking hands on his legs. I put my hand on his shoulder to make him look at me. When he realizes that he is not alone, he jerks my hand off of him and then pushes himself to stand. He glares at me but there is a vulnerability to his stare that makes me want to comfort him. Instead, I find myself staring down at the fire.

I want to talk to him, to ask him what could be wrong. I look up to find him standing with his head and hands against the cold wall of the cave. I can see his back and chest rising and falling quickly.

"John?" I ask.

He doesn't answer.

"John!" I say again with some force.

He doesn't answer again.

I throw a piece of dirt into the fire when I feel a familiar anger. But then I decide that maybe he just needs someone to talk to him. He had a nightmare. That much was clear. I shouldn't have let him be alone. We are together. Maybe he should be allowed to hurt.

I stand up and walk over to him. He keeps his head and hands on the wall. He doesn't look at me. So I have to make him. I put my hand on his back and tilt my head to his face. I get nothing in return. I continue to do this. But I still get nothing.

"John?" I ask again. "Come on."

He shakes his head and turns away. I see him run his hand over his face as he does this. He thinks he is being quick, slick but he is not. I can see him. And he is beautiful.

I decide that maybe words aren't what he needs. I wrap my arms around his body, letting them hold his frame. I feel his fingertips on my arms. He pulls me close to him so that my chest is pressed against his back. We stay like this for a while. I don't wonder when we will move or how. I just let him do exactly what he needs.

After a few minutes though, he does turn around.

He looks sad but otherwise the same bored and tired expression that John always shows. He puts his hands around my waist and keeps me close. He looks down at my face, putting his hand behind my ear and holding my head just where it is.

"What John?" I ask.

He shakes his head.

"Come one," I prompt with a smile, attempting to convince him to talk to me. I always do.

"It was stupid," he says.

Finally. I nudge him a little, holding onto his arms with my hands and never leaving my gaze from his face.

"Tell me," I beg again.

"It was a stupid nightmare about…end of the world crap," he says. "It shouldn't bother me. I never got those before. I never cared about anything long enough to."

"But?" I ask, coaxing the words out of him like a snake away from it's prey. It takes skill and time and an incredible amount of patience.

"But I care about you," he says, looking down between us. Touching his face, I make him look back at me.

"I care about you too, John Murphy," I say.

He smiles back at me.

"Was it about me?" I ask.

He nods, the smile gone and terror returned. There is something about that look in his eyes as he stares at me. It must have been sad because there is a longing there. It is not one that I can satiate with ripping his clothes off either. It is one that needs gentle compassion.

"What?" I ask again.

"I'm not good for you, Emori."

"Don't give me that. We are both survivors. We are good for each other," I tell him.

He clearly doesn't believe it but that doesn't matter. I pull him in to hug him, locking my arms around his body and pressing my face into his shirt. He does the same, conforming himself down to my body and allowing his head to rest on my shoulder. I smile against him, knowing that I have won.

"Next time that happens, you just have to turn to me," I say into his shirt. "I'll remind you what's real."

"You know it's because of you that I have anything to lose," he says. "It's not a survivors move, caring for someone."

I pull away from him just a little so that I can see that devilish grin return. It makes me smirk back at him.

"I am your weakness, John Murphy," I say.

"Yes you are," he agrees and leans his head down to kiss me.


	2. I love you, Emori Rated M

**RATED M. Emori and John are in the Mansion on Becca's Island before Praimfaya. RATED M. Review and enjoy! RATED M. This one is rated M for the last part. If you don't want to read it, don't read the last three paragraphs. But it's not explicit, just part of the story.**

I have wanted to say this. It sounds so stupid. I should have just told her already. It's just that some small part of me wishes that she would say it first. Maybe then I wouldn't have to think about this so much.

I mean really, if there were ever a survivors move, this would be the opposite of that. If she thinks the same, we are in trouble. We already care about each other. I am about to add even more weakness on our situations. It's not like we need any more of that.

Emori is standing in the kitchen with me. I turn around to face her. She is putting some preservative food away. I watch her hands work. I watch her back lean over the counter. Her head titled just enough for her to see what she is doing. I see how she so skillfully is able to use her large deformed fingers.

They call her Fikdreina. I call her beautiful.

"What?" she asks as she looks over at me. "You look as if you have seen a ghost. We are at war but I don't think that there could ever be that kind of war."

I walk to her, standing right in front of her. I can feel my heart beating in my chest. It almost hurts. I want it to go away. This is so dumb. I should just forget about the whole thing. But then I look into those dark eyes and I can't. The feeling is too strong to forget.

"What is it, John?" she asks, reaching out with her ungloved hand. But I want all of her. I take her other hand too. She frowns when I do this but I look right into her eyes.

"Why do you hate it so much?" I ask. "I mean…it's not like it matters here."

"I was trained to hide my entire life. I still feel like I have to hide sometimes," she admits. Her vulnerability doesn't make me uncomfortable in ways that other peoples does. I even squeeze her hand a little, kissing her forehead.

"You don't have to hide anything from me," I tell her. "Nothing."

I am really hoping that she says it first. But there is no nervousness in her body like there is in my own. She has probably never even thought about it before.

She can tell that I am thinking about something too much. She squints her eyes down.

"Is it a survivors move?" she asks.

"What is?"

"Whatever it is that has you lost like Fikdreina in Polis," she says with a small, evil laugh. I know that she is serious though. She does want to know. She always manages to get out of me whatever it is that I won't tell her. I still have not figured out how she does it.

"Not really," I tell her.

"Well then you probably shouldn't do it," she says.

That's a dagger.

She sees my eye roll and confusion so she grabs my arm and turns me around to face her again.

"Unless of course, it's important," she says again, clearly rethinking her last efforts. It scares me.

"John, maybe whatever it is isn't a survivors move, but it is necessary. Sometimes truth needs to be told, even if it isn't just for the sake of surviving out here," she explains.

She shows all of her teeth when she smiles. I have to smile back at her, knowing that whatever it is, I can't hide it from her and I don't want to. I want to share everything with her. Forever. That means that as long as we have to survive on this terrifying, horrible, gruesome planet, we have to do it together.

"We were just stealing from Trikru on the streets. We survived A.L.I.E. We'll survive Praimfaya too."

"And if we don't?" I ask, diverting from the weird bubbles in my chest that are really starting to concern me now.

"We will. It's what we do."

I nod, pulling her toward the steps. She grins and raises her eyebrows. She follows me as I lead her to the bedroom. I slip out of my shoes as she does the same. She walks into the room first as I stand by the door frame, staring at her beauty.

I don't want to hold this in anymore. She deserves to know. Emori is facing the wall, pulling the bandana off of her head and setting it on the nightstand. I smile and decide that the bubbles are too weird. I might as well just tell her.

This is stupid. So stupid.

"I love you."

She stands completely still. I get worried for a second, maybe even scared but then decide that the whole thing was just dumb. I can feel my face turn red before she turns around. But it is not what I expected. She has a smile on that perfect face of hers.

"Did John Murphy just say I love you?" she asks.

"Yeah…yes." I pause. "I love you, Emori."

She walks toward me and holds out her hands. Her glove is off. I can really see her now.

"I love you, John," she says back.

And I think might heart actually melts in my chest.

But I don't have time to think about it. Instead, I grab her around her shoulders and pull her in to kiss me. We kiss for several seconds before I am grabbing her body and lifting her hips onto me. I push her onto the dresser, taking her layers of clothes off. Without a thought for anything but her, I pull the last article of clothing from her chest and put my hands on the perky beauties that are before me.

I press myself against her, pulling her back to the bed. She pulls my shirt from my body and then starts unbuttoning my pants. I don't have to get the idea. I pull them off and then go back to her. She is waiting for me, looking perfectly still and needy.

I bite my lip as I breathe deeply against her soft skin, kissing her all over that body. I make her mine, taking the rest of her boundaries off before laying her down underneath of me.

There is no climax of pleasure that anyone could feel except for that of the kind when you are unsure if you are ever going to have it again. I watch her face. I feel her back arch in ecstasy. I hear her moans of pure pleasure. And in our last moments, I look right into her eyes, holding her still with my arm under her body and her legs around my waist.

"I love you, Emori," I tell her with complete confidence.

She smiles at me.

"I love you too."

And our love is completed, falling over each other in perfect bliss.


	3. Murphy Sick on the Ring

**On the ring, John Murphy goes into a coma. This is before when he is sick from Monty's algae. ENJOY!**

John has been vomiting for hours. I haven't told him how afraid I am. I haven't told him how much I want him to let me take care of him. I am too afraid of all of it. I hear a knock on our door. I open it, knowing that John is not going to leave his corner until he stops throwing up. It's Raven.

She puts her arm around me and leans her head in on John.

"You okay?" she asks.

He gives her a thumbs up but I shake my head.

"I'll be right back," I tell him.

"I'm fine here," he says. "I've walked the streets of the Dead Zone with a virtue seeing Jaha. I've got this."

I shake my head, wishing that he would stop lying to himself about how much pain he is in. It is not just the vomiting. His stomach has been in pain for hours. He was practically crying earlier when he was holding onto it in our bed, laying down with his eyes clenched.

I close the door behind me and stare at Raven. She can tell that I am breaking with him.

"We have to figure out how to stop this," I say.

"I know," Raven agrees.

"We need Clarke."

Bellamy turns the corner just then. I see him bite the inside of his lip. He clenches his hand into a fist at his side and then stuffs it in his pocket to hide the shaking like he always does. I didn't mean for him to hear me.

"But we don't have her," he says in a broken voice.

"Well we need someone with medical experience. I'm a coder. You and Echo are fighters. Harper's a shooter. Monty and I are tech people. Emori and Murphy are scavengers. We have no medic," Raven says. "No one with experience."

Bellamy runs his hand down his face.

"He's losing fluid," he says. "We need to find a way to get fluid back in him."

Raven looks sad but also brave. She looks right at Bellamy, stepping toward him.

"Do you remember anything from Clarke?" Raven asks.

He looks at her with some anger behind those sad eyes. But it is clear that he wants to remember.

"Let's go somewhere," he says.

She nods and then looks back at me with a question on her face.

"I've got him."

I go back into our room and close the door. John is sitting on our bed with his sweaty head in his hands. I sit beside him, putting my arm around his body. He leans into me.

"I don't feel sick right now," he says.

"Good."

He looks up at me. His face is pale. His body is weak. But he is still John Murphy. The cockroach. The survivor. The scavenger.

"This isn't as bad as the bunker," he says.

"Why?"

"I was surrounded by wine, which dehydrated me and crackers, which were revolting just by themselves," he says with confidence. But it is broken, just as he is.

I put my hand on his sweaty hair. He closes his eyes but then flinches, leaning down to hold his arms over his stomach. He groans and curls in on himself. I try not to feel bad or worry. He hates it when I do that. But its hard to hide it. I keep my arm around him, hoping that might do something to soothe him.

"Emori," he mumbles.

"Yeah?"

"I ever tell you about the biological warfare?" he asks.

"No."

"When they banished me from the camp, after all that torture, they let me lose. Basically, I had something Clarke called a hemorrhagic fever. I was bleeding and coughing and felt like death."

I wait for the next part.

"Basically that's what this feels like without the blood," he admits.

"Oh John," I say, resting my head on his shoulder. I am not going to pretend like I am not afraid for him. I am. He is the only one that I have up here that really understands me. Echo is from the ground but she is just as different from me than Monty is. I am not like them.

"I'll be okay, Emori," he says.

He is trying to comfort me when he is the one in pain.

I pull him with me so that we can lay down together. He curls in on himself again but I wrap my arm around his back and nudge my head on his neck. He smells of sweat and sickness. But it does not bother me at all. I am used to such scents from the ground.

We lay there for a while in silence with each other.

"It's so loud here," I say.

"What?"

"The machines. They're so loud."

"Oh yeah. I guess living in space had me used to that. I miss the ground already," he says.

"Me too."

"Emori?" he asks. His voice sounds far away, almost like he is trying to hide something. It scares me. He never hides anything from me. I pull him a little tighter.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"If I don't make it—"

"No. John. Stop it," I demand. "You are not giving up on me. You're a survivor, John."

He turns around so that I can see his face. He looks sympathetic. His trembling hands sits on the side of my face as he looks at me.

"I am not giving up. I am just trying to tell you that if something happens, you have to keep surviving," he says.

"Alright. That's enough," I tell him, feeling like any moment now I might feel like crying and I don't want to do that.

He nods, understanding.

"Get some rest," I tell him, kissing his forehead.

He sleeps for hours in my arms. It makes me feel good to have him so close. The next morning when I am about to leave, I nudge him. He doesn't wake up. He doesn't move. I nudge him again. Nothing.

"John?" I ask.

"John!"

"JOHN!"

Nothing. He doesn't move at all.

I panic. I lean down to his face. I put my hand on his chest. I can still feel his pounding heart beat. I can still hear his rhythmic breathing as if he were asleep. He is not a sound sleep. Not like this.

He won't wake up.

I run out of the room and to the others. Bellamy is no where to be found as usual. The others are sitting around the table. Raven is leaning against the wall.

"What?" Monty asks.

"Is it Murphy?" Harper asks.

I nod.

"He won't wake up."


	4. Murphy Wakes Up

**Murphy and Emori during/after his coma.**

"Come on, John," I beg at his side like I have for a long time. "Please wake up."

"It's been so long since I've seen your eyes," I beg again. But I get nothing in response. He is dead to the world, sleeping soundlessly in my arms as he always does. I have refused to leave his side. I have no reason to. Without him up here, I have no purpose.

There is a knock at the door.

"It's me," Harper says.

"Come in."

She enters with a sad look on her face. She sits down beside us and looks at John. To me he looks peaceful and quiet. To her he probably looks just as much of a scoundrel as he always does. But I love that scoundrel. I love John.

"How's he doing?" she asks.

"No different," I say with a shrug.

"Monty is beside himself. He is so sorry. He is trying to fix it with everything he knows," Harper says.

"I know," I say with a nod. I try not to blame him for doing this to John. He had no idea what was going to happen. Of course, he would never hurt him on purpose. Harper tries for a smile. She doesn't want me so down. None of them do.

"We can talk about something else," I offer.

She nods.

"Have you heard from Bellamy?" I ask.

She looks sad. "He's been MIA since the funeral. Raven has tried to talk to him but he won't see anyone. I've heard him a couple of times. He's devastated."

"I would be too," I say.

Harper puts her hand on mine but I pull it away. I don't take comfort from her.

"You ever thought about if the world didn't end?" Harper asks.

"What do you mean?"

"What would you have done if you were on the ground? In five years time?"

I smile at that thought.

"We would have had the initiation," I tell her.

"What's that?" Harper asks.

"It's where a group of friends gather in the woods. We give each other a tattoo and share an expression. It's kind of like a party," I say. "Or what you would call a marriage."

"Would you have children?" she asks.

"Maybe. I never thought about it. I never thought I would survive long enough. But if we lived a normal life, yes. We would have had a few. It would have been nice to live without worrying about anything else," I admit. I don't think I have ever said anything like that to John before. Maybe I should tell him when he wakes up.

"He doesn't seem like the dad type," I admit.

"No offense, Emori. But he doesn't seem like the type to fall in love," she says. "But he did. He's so different with you. He would do anything for you."

"Monty would do anything for you," I tell her.

"Yeah," she agrees with a smile.

"Would you have children?"

"In a perfect world. Yes. I would have married Monty. I would have worn a white dress. We would have children. One or two maybe. We would live together. We would be happy."

"You still have that chance," I tell her. "To be happy."

"You do too," Harper says.

She looks down at him. I can feel him start to stir in my arms.

"What? John! John," I say.

"Looks like you've got a pretty good chance, Emori," she says and walks away as John wakes up.

He looks up at me with confused eyes. I hold his body in my hands as he starts to move. He groans in pain so I hold him tighter but it is clear that he is trying to stretch.

"Emori?" he asks.

"John," I say with relief.

"Did I die?"

"No, you animal. You're okay. You're okay," I say, making him sit up. He looks at me. His face is so perfect. His eyes are open. His voice is just how I remember it. I throw my arms around his body with a smile. I can feel my body shaking with tears of relief but he doesn't know that. He grips me tight, putting his face on my shoulder.

"What is it? Emori? What's wrong?"

"You were in a coma, John! That's what's wrong," I say.

He holds me tight.

"I'm here now," he says. He pulls away but keeps his arms around me. He kisses me on my lips once softly and then hugs me again. I can tell his body is stiff and sore but he is thinking about only me. How love changes someone so drastically.

"I love you," I tell him.

"I love you too," he says. "I'm so sorry I scared you."

"I missed you, John," I say. "We were all worried."

"You were?" he asks, pulling away so that he can see my face. I nod with assurance.

"Of course we were. Monty has been beside himself. Harper just came here to tell me. He is trying everything he can to wake you up. Everyone has been worried. Well, aside from Bellamy but we haven't heard from him since Clarke's funeral," I explain.

"Wasn't that just two days ago?"

I shake my head.

"How long have I been out?"

"Eight days," I tell him.

He grabs me in a hug and puts his arms around me tightly. I don't know how he is holding me so tight but I don't ask. I want him to. I want to feel him that close.

"I am so sorry, Emori," he says.

"It's okay," I say with a smile. "You're okay."


	5. Emori and John Pasts

A/N: Emori and John just finished hunting together in the woods. They are talking about their pasts. We learn a little bit more. They confide in each other.

"This is more food than I have seen in one sitting my entire life," he mutters. I begin skinning the animal. We truly got lucky today. Fate was with us.

"One time when I was a child, my brother killed two of these animals in one day. We ate it for a long time. It was wonderful," I tell him, remembering when my brother came back to our cave with two of them slung over his shoulders. I felt hope and confidence in those next few days as we ate them, dried them and felt full for the first time in our lives.

"That sounds nice," he says.

I turn to him with a smile but it is not returned. I put my hand on his so that he is forced to look up at me. He takes my hand, intertwining our fingers with a smile.

"Do you remember your parents?" he asks.

"Sure. My mother visited us one time when were young. She said that she wished she could have gotten to know us. I called her a creep and told her to leave me alone. I did not want anything from her. She was not the person who raised me. That was my brother," I explain.

He doesn't look sympathetic, which I appreciate. But I have never told that to anyone before. I guess I never knew anyone long enough to care if they knew.

"I never cared about anyone other than him," I say.

"Until me," he says with a smile. "Yes, until this scoundrel came around, begging for my attention."

"Actually, I think you held a knife to my throat."

I feel my cheeks blush but I shrug. "It was necessary to get back to my brother. It was too bad he died in the end anyway." My voice sounds dark and dull but I don't care. I loved him. He was the only person that took care of me.

"He raised you?"

"Since I was an infant," I admit. "He was just six years older. He was living with three other Fikdreina's. They took him in. When they cast me out, my mother was to kill me. She gave me to my brother instead. We lived our lives together there until we were older and started to run and hunt to get what we wanted."

"Survivors from the beginning," he says.

"And you weren't?"

He shrugs, kicking a leaf into the fire in front of us. I go back to skinning the animal I have in my lap. I become curious about the truth. I want to know what happened to the boy that I am falling for so easily. I want to know what makes him different. Why is he a survivor? I think I have earned the right to ask him questions. But he will probably just avoid them if he has to or he will lie.

He hates being vulnerable. I noticed that the first time I met him. Unfortunately for him, life is filled with vulnerabilities. That is what makes it so raw.

"What are you thinking about, John?" I ask him.

"Nothing. As usual."

"No. That's what others think. But I know you. You think about a lot," I tell him. He shrugs. I hand him some meat and a stick. He puts it on the stick and holds it over the fire.

"Not too close or you'll just char the outside," I say.

He nods.

But I can tell that he is hiding something. I can get it out of him.

"Do you remember your parents?"

"Like I saw them yesterday."

"Oh. When did they die?"

"That's a long story," he says.

"I'd like to hear it."

I sit back and stop messing with the animal on my lap. I watch him as he leans over his knees and stares into the fire. I watch his shuddering breathing and am curious about it.

"My father was floated."

"Oh. Your people call us cruel but your people are terrible too," I say.

"I know. Why do you think I hate everyone?" he asks. He is smiling but it is sadistic. He is angry with them. Maybe I am about to learn why he hates everything so much. Maybe I will finally know why he is afraid of everything and doesn't want anyone to know it.

"Your people have laws. What law did your father break?" I ask. I try to make my voice gentle. I want him to tell me. I am really falling for this man and I think he is falling for me too.

"He stole medicine for his sick son. Medicine that saved my life and they killed him for it. My mother blamed me. She was always angry or drunk with moonshine," he says.

There is a deep sadness in his voice that hurts me too. I don't like it. I don't want to fall for him.

"What happened to your mother?" I ask.

"I came home one day and she was dead." He looks to me. There are tears on his face. I can feel him breaking my heart just a little. He can remember it as if it were yesterday. He just told me. The tears are a sign of his pain. "I tried to wake her up. I tried to shake her. I was screaming and crying when the guards came. They said she was dead and that there was nothing that I could do."

"John," I say, reaching my hand out.

He looks to me, another tear escaping.

"The last thing she said to me was that it was my fault that my dad died. She said that I was a disgrace, she hated me and she hated what I did to him. She told me that she will never forgive me for what I did…for killing him. And then I came back…" His voice cracks more and more with every word. Each time my pain increases with his. I put my hand to his knee and lean forward. "I came back and she was dead."

His shoulders shudder and his head hangs down. His eyes pour out his pain. I lean over and put my arm around his shoulder. He allows it, even resting his head on my chest. I hold his hand and then put my chin on the top of his head. The pain in my chest is shown as the pain that racks his chest.

"She died because of me. They both died because of me…"

"No. No. Your mother was drunk when she blamed you. She was sad. She didn't know what she was saying. Your father wanted you to live, John. He died so that you could live and now you're here—"

"I'm here and my people hate me," he says. He pushes himself up to stand, dropping the stick of meat and brushing his hands over his face, standing away from me. I get up and put my hand on his back, rubbing along his shoulder.

"I don't hate you, John," I assure.

"I know," he says in a sad voice.

I turn him around slowly. He looks up into my eyes as I brush the tears from his face.

"Stupid," he says.

"No. Not stupid. Brave. You are brave to feel that emotion, John Murphy," I tell him. "You are a strong man. You deserve to live. You deserve to be on earth amongst the beauty and horror of it all."

"All I do is survive, Emori," he says with a shrug.

He looks defeated. I put my hand to his shoulder and then along the edge of his face. I lean forward to kiss his lips a few times. He kisses me back, wrapping his arms around my small body.

I pull away to hold his face steady.

"Let me show you how to live."


	6. The end of the world

**John and Emori are in bed at the mansion. They are talking about the end of the world and what they are going to do.**

"Do you think they will let me stay in that bunker of theirs?" she asks. I hate talking about this. She knows I hate talking about this. And yet, she keeps brining it up.

"How about we talk about something else?" I ask.

"Like what?"

I pull my arm out from under her. She lays naked beside me. I turn to her beautiful frame and drag my finger down the side of her face then down her arm and hip. She smiles as I do this.

"Like this," I say. I kiss her neck and then her shoulder. I do this a few times before moving my hand down her body. She knows what I am doing. She grabs my hand and moves it. I look back up at her with confusion, watching her indifferent expression.

"John," she says.

"I'm ready for another round," I say quietly.

"I'm serious," she insists.

"Clearly."

I lean back on my elbow and look at her face. She is serious. She has that irritated female expression that every man hates. I decide that its okay and that I should be listening to her anyway. It's just that it's not as if we have a lot of time.

"Do you think they'll let me stay?" she asks again.

"I doubt it, Emori," I say.

"So what's our move?"

I don't even have to think about it.

"I am not going to let you die, Emori," I assure. "Either I'll sneak you in or we'll find another way."

"How are you going to sneak me in?" she asks, leaning toward me. She rests her hands on my chest so I lean back against the plush pillows of the soft bed in the mansion. I wish to god that we could stay like this forever. Just lay in bed, make love, wake up in each other's arms. Everything about this place is perfect.

"I have a tattoo on my face, John. I'm a fikdreina; they will not just let me hang out with the rest of you. They wouldn't risk one of their people for someone like me," she says.

I can tell she is going somewhere bad. I move her hair from her face and kiss her cheek.

"I happen to love the tattoo on your face," I admit.

She smiles but it is not as genuine as I would like it to be.

"I will not let you die, Emori," I promise her.

"They aren't going to risk their people for me," she says with a frown. It is not as if she is sad about it. She just knows that it is true. I hate to see her think so lowly of herself.

"My people wouldn't risk anything for me either," I tell her. She gives me a small smile but then rests her head on the pillow next to me. I put my arm across her body, draping it so that we can look at each other. I hate being serious but sometimes it is necessary.

"They would definitely let you have my spot," I say.

She smiles but then shrugs.

"I don't want it. I would rather have you survive than me," she says. This surprises me.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"If one of us has to die…I hope it is me, John. I cannot bear the thought of watching you lose your life."

This brings tears to my eyes. I blink a couple of times and put my arm under her. I bring her close to me. I pull her body so that she has her chest on mine and her face is just inches away. I put my other arm on her side to make sure she will not leave.

"You won't," I assure. "I am not going to leave you."

"Promise?" she asks.

"Of course."

She looks tired.

"You have been fighting a long time," I say, pushing her hair from her face and kissing her cheek. She nods.

"My entire life."

"It's time to let me fight for you," I offer.

She shakes her head. She is not used to that. I know that. But I don't want her to go anywhere. I just want her to stay close to me, to be near me. Maybe then I can save her from all of this pain in the world. I let her lean her head on my shoulder as I hold her.

"We have to fight for each other," she assures.

I don't want that. I don't want her to get hurt. She tilts her head toward me. She smirks a little bit. She even tilts her head to the side. I press my lips together.

"Are you worried about me, John?" she asks.

I nod.

"John Murphy, worried about someone other than himself? Your people would be shocked." She pauses. "But I'm not. I know exactly who you are. You're kind, John. Too kind for me. I don't belong with a man as brave as you."

I don't know what to say to that. I don't want to talk about this. It's scaring me. I know that's obvious.

"Just…no matter what goes on, you can't go anywhere. We have to stay together," I manage.

"What is it?" she asks me, putting her hand to the side of my face. I know I should let her in.

"I love you," I say.

I get that perfect smile back.

"I love you too," she says.

"Don't break my heart, Emori," I ask her.

She smiles, knowing that at some point, she probably will.


	7. Wounded John End of Season 5

**John is wounded at the end of Season 5. He begs for Emori and they make up. Emori POV.**

"You should run ahead," Monty says. Just then another scream erupts from John. I put my hand on his back as we topple over yet another rock in our way. I make my way over a branch and then stop when I see Monty resting in front of me.

"Drop me. You'll make it without me," John says.

"If Monty drops you, we both blow up," I assure. "I'm not leaving you, John."

I have not seen him cry for a long time. I caught him crying one time when he was alone in his room. I came to tell him dinner was ready and he was sobbing against the back wall. He pretended that he wasn't and even told me to go away but I knew that wasn't the truth. I didn't try to tell him that I wanted to comfort him. Instead, I turned around and walked away, hearing him muffle a sob as I did.

This time there will be no such cruelty.

Tears fall down John's face. I grab his hand and look into his eyes as more tears fall.

"I'm dying, Emori," he says. "Leave me."

"No. No way. Everyone else in your life might have left you, John. But not us. We are going to save you. And certainly not me. I am never leaving you again."

"I can move," Monty assures.

He starts off running again and I am following him. We run together as much as we can, stumbling over branches. I grab him when he falls or assist Monty when his muscles begin to fail. My terror pushes me to move faster. My fear makes me run, pushing my legs just as much as Monty's does. We run like this until finally I can see the clearing to the woods. Murphy is screaming nonstop, constantly in dramatic amounts of pain. I want to kiss him, hold him until the pain goes away. But I can't this time. I helped him through the coma, through the vomiting that was so much worse than the rest of ours, through the chest pain and then the heart attack. When he was really emotional, I let him be alone. But the last seven months has been torture. I miss him. I need him.

When his hand falls to the side and sits open in the air, I look to his crying eyes.

"Please," he says.

I grab his hand and squeeze his fingers. He closes his eyes as if he finally got some relief out of my touch. That makes me feel good so I keep doing it, holding his hand.

"Come on!" Monty shouts.

We run toward the ship as fast as we can. I see Bellamy and smile in relief. Then I see Clarke, feeling equally as happy. We stop once we are inside and Monty sets Murphy on the ground.

"Doctors! We need Abby right now!" Monty shouts.

"Abby! Please! We need a medic!" I shout.

Clarke rushes over once the door is closed. I feel movement. We are flying. I feel unsteady on the ground as I hold onto John. His hand in mine is like a vice grip. I lean down, covering him with my body.

"I'm losing it, Emori," he says.

"No, you aren't! You aren't leaving me!" I shout with fierceness and fear behind my voice.

"Hold pressure on it. He's going to need a suture kit and a transfusion," Clarke says.

"Do it!" I shout.

"Once we get through the atmosphere, we'll be stable and we can bring him to medical. For right now, I can stop the bleeding," she assures. She puts pressure on the wound. I hold onto John as the ship rocks and creaks. I lean down so that my face is just inches from his, making sure to stay out of the way of Clarke's hands.

"I'm scared," he mouthes, barely addable at all. I put my hands on either side of his face to be sure that he is looking to me. "I don't want to die, Emori. I don't want to be gone."

"You aren't. You're right here. Clarke is helping you. Now that we're safe, we can save you," I promise.

I am not sure if I believe it or not. If he isn't alive, I have no reason to be here. I have lived to survive for a long time. That was mostly because of my brother. Once he was gone, it was for John. If I die, John doesn't have any other reason to live either. Maybe we were meant to be together somehow. We might make each other crazy, but we have been in love since the moment we met.

"Let's move him!" Clarke shouts.

We all stand up. Clarke, Monty and Bellamy grab John. They start to move him to where Abby is. We find ourselves passing through hallways. I follow behind them when I hear a shout from him. He screams out in pain and agony.

"Emori! Emori!" he shouts.

I run to his side, squeezing by him in the tight hallway and grabbing his hand as it falls to his side. He looks relieved. I hold onto him as we make our way into medical. The room is large but I am not focused on much. I can see a few other patients as they are being worked on by Abby, Jackson and two other medics. Once he is set down, the others disperse.

"Stay here," he begs.

"I'm not going anywhere," I assure.

Abby comes over with a kit and sets it down on the table beside him. She opens it up and starts working. I look only to John. I don't want to watch what she does. I am already scared.

"We need to suture him. He's going to be awake. Emori, hold his hand," Abby says.

I squeeze his fingers in mine.

"I'm sorry," he mutters.

"What?" I ask with shock. I know that my eyes are wide and my shoulders are backwards.

"What are you talking about?" I ask again. He never apologizes, never tells anyone that he regrets anything that he does.

"I'm sorry that I was such a jerk and that I didn't help on the ring. I was scared that you were too good for me, that you were becoming something I couldn't keep up with." He grunts in pain, closing his eyes for a second before continuing on his rampage. "I was scared and I'm sorry for being that person. I promise to never be that person again."

He is scaring me.

"I love you, Emori," he says.

"I love you too," I assure.

I look to Abby and she gives a reassuring smile. He will be okay. Or at least, he will be okay for now.

"Stay," he begs.

"John Murphy…no matter what, you're stuck with me now."

I get a final smile out of him before he loses consciousness.


	8. NEW PUBLISHED BOOK

**Hello Everyone! I have just recently published my fourth book. If you like young adult fiction about teens trying to get through life, you will like my book, "My Socially Awkward Friends and I". It is about a group of people who are just trying to get through high school with some serious and mild problems of their own.**

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 **Anyway…read on!**


	9. John Wakes Up

**John has trouble when he wakes from surgery in pain. Emori is there for him before they calm down enough to go to the Human Fate Meeting with the others. End of season 5, after he gets injured.**

He wakes, gasping and sitting straight up.

"John!" I shout with happiness and throw my arms around his shoulders. He laughs and puts one arm strong arm on my back. I have missed feeling his arms around me. I lean my head on his shoulder for a second before I pull away, not wanting to scare him.

"I guess I should die more often," he says.

"John!" I say.

I help him lay back down on the medical bed. He closes his eyes as he lays back down and rests his head back.

"John?" I ask again.

He grunts.

I want him to keep his eyes open and looking at me. I don't want to be scared that he will never open them again. I had never been so scared before in my life. Loving someone is the opposite of a survivors move but I have never felt anything like this before.

I have never loved anyone or anything as much as I love John Murphy. If he were to die, I would die with him.

"How are you feeling?" I ask him. He reaches his hand out toward me. I take his hand, gripping him close as I lean to kiss his forehead. He smiles just enough that I can tell his face moves.

"Okay," he says.

"You don't sound okay," I admit.

"Actually I feel terrible. Everything hurts. But if I'm dying, I need to say this one thing to you, Emori," he says. His words barely sound like him at all. He is just talking because he is afraid.

I try to shush him but he pushes my hand away from his face. I keep my hand in his instead and listen to him, though the thought of him leaving me makes me so scared I want to run.

"I love you," he says. "I never stopped loving you. Even when you kicked me out I loved you and I wanted you to be with me everyday since then. I've never wanted you to hate me. But I was scared. I didn't realize it until I was dying, but nothing is as scary as being without you," he says, his lower lip quivering. It scares me enough that I have to lean closer to him so that my face is just inches from his. I can tell that he can see me better now because he gives me a small smile. I put my hand other hand on the side of his face and calmly brush my finger down.

"It's okay, John," I tell him.

"Say it," he begs.

"I love you too. I never stopped loving you either."

He nods and swallows like he is swallowing a lump. He squeezes my hand so tight he might break it before he pulls me down to kiss him. His body is still shaking like he is holding back something. When I pull away there are tears on his face.

"John! Does something hurt?" I ask, pulling away a little.

He shakes his head.

"This isn't a survivors move," he says. "You should've left me, Emori. I should've been dead so you could live. Why would you risk your life to save me when you said you hated me?"

"Because I loved you!"

"That's not a survivors move and we always agreed to make the survivors move!" he says, almost angry. I put my hand in his hair and soothe him as I stay close enough to kiss.

"I know that I'm a survivor but I couldn't have left you out there to die, John. If you were going to die, I would have stayed with you until the planet blew up around us. I never would have left you. I couldn't have let that happen."

"What are you saying?" he demands. There is hope in his voice but I can still feel the fear in his body. He never shows this amount of fear. Maybe as I am shielding him from the rest of the world around us, he is not longer in control of it.

A person can be in pain forever. But one day, that pain is going to come out.

"I'm saying that I am never going to leave you again," I promise.

"Come here," he begs.

I lean down to kiss him. He puts his hand on my waist and holds me close as we kiss for a long time. His lips are no longer shaking. His body is steady as we kiss each other. John's hands are holding me with all the strength he can muster as my hands travel his chest and hair.

Abby clears her throat beside us.

I pull away quickly and sit up. John puts his hand behind his head with a smile on his face that is nothing less than John Murphy. It makes me smile so big I want to hop back on top of him and kiss him like crazy. I want to be with him completely.

"Abby, do you make it habit of walking in on people in their private moments?" John asks with that sly grin that makes everyone weary. "Or is that your thing?"

She actually smiles and crosses her arms over each other as she looks down at his wounds and then back to his face. I am staring at her with hope for good news.

"I see you're back to yourself," Abby says.

"So how long do I have, Doc?" he asks, as if he knows that he is dying and will be suddenly be gone in minutes. "Because if it's not long, I'd like to give it to my girlfriend one more time before I go."

I can't help but give a small chuckle.

"Calm it down, Murphy," Abby says, dropping her arms. "If you don't over exert yourself, you'll recover just fine."

"Recover?" he asks.

"Like for good? He'll live? He'll be fine?" I ask with wide eyes.

"Yes, he will," Abby says.

I put my arms around him and squeeze him close. For the first time in a long time, John puts his arms around my waist and squeezes me. He holds me with all of his strength, so tight I can almost feel his relief and smile in my hair.

"Oh, and you're both wanted in the control room," Abby says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Bellamy said something about deciding the fate of the human race. They said you should be there."

John smiles.

"As usual, I'm in. Help me up, Emori. We have a life to live."

Never in my life have I heard John Murphy get excited about living life. But in this moment I don't think he could have been more elated.


	10. John Murphy Vulnerable

**John and Emori talk about how angry she got. They discuss what has become of them and why Emori still holds a grudge. John vulnerable. Please review! Hope you enjoy!**

 **John POV.**

We sit against the walls of one of the small units. I am just inches apart from Emori but I feel like I am miles away. I want to touch her, wrap her in my arms, make her mine again but I am scared because if I do that, and she attacks me, or tells me that I am worthless, I don't think I can handle it. I just can't hear that again.

"John," she says in a voice so quiet, I can hardly hear her tremor. I look up at her, trying to put on a hard front. I know she will see right through it but for now, I don't care. This is for me. I cross my arms over my chest and leave my expression in anger.

"What?" I demand.

"I'm sorry," she says.

That breaks my entire demeanor. I feel nothing but love for her. I want to reach out and grab her but instead, I hold my position, squeezing my arms so my hands don't move to touch her.

"I know," I manage, in a softer voice, but never letting my body lean.

"I said really awful things," she says.

"Yeah. Do you really think I'm worthless, Emori? I mean, do you think that I never do anything to help and that I am always just trying to hurt everyone else?" I ask her. I have to know. It hurts to ask. It hurts so bad, deep in my chest but I have to know.

Emori sighs and she is the one to move closer to me. She puts her hand on mine so I let her take it, interlocking our fingers. I keep my eyes down. I don't want her to see the emotion behind them. She doesn't answer right away, which sends me worried.

"No," she says. "But sometimes you don't take things seriously and people get hurt. The way you have been treating Clarke…that's not fair. Bellamy is the one that got thrown into the pits, not you. So why won't you let her live that down? She has apologized to him and to the rest of us. She said she knew she was wrong but that she was scared of losing Madi."

"Bellamy still loves her," I say easily. It is so obvious to me. I don't understand why no one else sees it. But if I can get this conversation to take a turn, I am going to take it.

"What?" Emori asks, confused.

"Bellamy loves her and she hurt him so badly," I say. Emori is putting together something that I don't like. Her face becomes complete and she gives me a small nod, squeezing my hand.

"And Bellamy won't hold her accountable any longer because of that?" Emori asks.

I nod.

"When we were on the Ring…and I started drifting apart from you, you still loved me?" she asks.

I shake my head and look down. I don't want to answer that. I can't. My chest starts hurting again. My eyes are swelling, being pushed on from inside my head. Then I can feel it, that same terrifying urge I felt earlier. Tears fill my eyes and I beg them not to fall.

But she is still waiting for an answer.

"John?" she asks again.

I bite my lip hard and then manage to look up at her. Her face is shocked when she sees tears fall. I hate that. I hate this. I want to run. I start to stand up but she grabs my arm and pulls me back. But I am stronger so I try to pull away again and again. I push her away.

"John!" she shouts.

"No! Stop it!" I say back.

"John! Come here!"

"Get off!"

"Just come here! Just trust me!"

Finally, her arms go around mine, crossing over my chest. She holds onto her own hands so that they are locked around my entire body and I cannot move. I lean back, her chest against my back and her head leaning close. I can feel her warmth, her comfort.

I let it out.

I cry.

Emori holds me like this to ensure that I won't run but I think she knows she has won this battle. I cannot make my legs move. I am too afraid of going anywhere. I am going to sit right here with her.

"It's okay, John," she says.

I nod when I have collected my bearings again. My chest still hurts from knowing that Emori did not want me anymore. It still aches from seeing her everyday and not being able to touch her, to hold her, to feel her sleep beside me.

"We should never have broken up," Emori says. I turn around. She lets me, loosening her grip on my arms just a little and then putting her hand to the side of my wet face. I lean into her touch, her perfect, gentle touch that makes me feel so good.

"You're right," I agree.

"I'm sorry that I ignored you. You have to know that you are not useless. What you are doing, blaming people and getting angry and causing fights, it's not worth it, John," she says.

"It's in my make up, Emori."

"No, it's not. You don't need to be cruel. Clarke is sorry for what she did. But you did really bad things too. You turned on your friends over and over again. You almost killed Raven. You killed people in the camps. You tried to kill Jasper and Octavia. You have done terrible things, John."

That hurts.

She's right. I have and it hurts knowing that Emori sees me that way. She knows the terrible things that I have done. She used to love me for it but I think she has realized that they don't make me a better person. They make me hard to deal with.

"John, you have to let this go," she says.

I nod.

"Maybe," I agree.

This makes her smile a little bit.

"What's your point?" I ask.

She sighs and looks right into my eyes.

"My point is that you and Clarke are the same in a lot of ways. But there is one difference: she does whatever she has to to protect the people she loves and you do what you have to to protect yourself."

"Forgive me?" is all I can manage to ask.

Emori nods. "Of course."

"I love you," I say to her, capturing her lips. I cannot wait a second longer. I need to feel close to her. I need her to know that I still love her, that she can't turn on me now. She kisses me back and we get lost in each other easily, kissing and touching until she starts pulling my clothes off.

"In here?" I ask. "Other people might come in."

"And?" she asks with a shrug. "We didn't exactly have privacy on the ring."

"We were in our own room," I argue with a smile.

"I want to show you how much I love you…how much you mean to me and how much we can protect each other," she says.

I reach up to kiss her, wrapping my arms around her waist as we lay back on the floor.

"Yes," I say. "Show me."


	11. Murphy's Hell

**John suffered in his own hell. What went on in his head to make him the terrified, anxious person that he is in Season 6 after his heart stopped? Why does he put up such a front and what was that line about going to hell? A little exploration of that…**

 **Murphy POV.**

Rage. I see nothing but pure rage as I stare into Bellamy's eyes. He looks afraid. Finally I have gotten this bastard afraid of something. He is always so cocky, so confident. He sleeps with everyone. He shows off. He acts like he is so much better than everyone else because he is older. And at first, did follow him because I thought I could trust him and he just wanted to have some fun and survive like the rest of us.

But not anymore.

No.

Now I hate him.

He's swinging from the noose I made him tie himself. I watch as he struggles, as he holds onto the ropes with his hands. I know I should take him down because I made my point but I don't. I hate everything and everyone that did that to me. They were going to kill me and now I am going to kill the person that let it all happen.

"Using your hands is a cheat!" I shout. "Mine were bound, remember?"

Just when I think I understand what I am doing and what is happening, my head is spinning. Bellamy is swinging in front of me. His legs going limp, his arms going limp by his sides and his head tilting, falling off kilter. Then his eyes look deeply into mine but they are dead. There is no one there. I killed him! How could I have killed him?

Then I am standing in front of Raven. There is a clear wall between us but I can see here. I am holding my gun up to her leg. I am looking right at her. Do I want to shoot her? No. But I am going to because she is getting in my way. I have to get to the other side of that wall. I have to escape. So I am going to have to get her down to do it.

I shoot her in the leg.

Rage fills my heart and head again. Even as she screams, falling over on her side and holding onto her leg, I just stand there watching for a brief second and then I run. I run as long and as fast as I can. But I feel like I am not going anywhere. I feel like my legs are not moving, even though I think I am making them. They start to burn so bad that I can't even think about anything but the pain.

I am tackled by a grounder, pinned to the ground. I can't fight them off. I try my best. I try to push them away. I try to kick or stab or punch or flail but nothing works. He is bigger than me. Ties me to a tree and stands in front of me with a grin on his scary face. Then all of the sudden, there are a lot of them. Ten, maybe more. Mostly men but a few women too. I can't tell how old they are or what they want. They only speak to each other in a weird language I have never heard.

Fear.

Nothing but fear and a little bit of rage. The bleakness of my situation becomes clear and the fear gets so bad I am shaking.

That's when the pain comes. Physical pain.

Slashes with ships. Stab marks on my body. Tiny paper cuts. Tearing my fingernails off. Pulling my head back by my hair. Kicking me. Choking me until I see stars. Water boarding.

"What do you want?" I demand in a screaming fit, spitting and flailing my body. "What do you want from me? I'll tell you whatever you want!"

Every time they ask a question, I answer it.

It makes me weak and terrible and deserving of so much hatred but I don't care if they all die, as long as I save my own ass. I have to get out of this place, even if that means turning everyone else in.

"Where is your camp?"

I tell them how to get there.

"Where did you come from?"

"The sky. We were all born in space."

"How many are you?"

"100 but we lost some."

"What weapons do you have?"

"None," I say. "Just stuff we made."

I tell them everything. They are satisfied, but still torture me when I try not to answer. Eventually, I don't even hold back. I just answer every single thing that they ask because I don't want pain anymore and I want to live. I really want to live.

When I am loose, I run as fast as I can. It's burning again, so bad I can't think. But I don't care. I know exactly where I am going. I might have turned my back on them, but the 100 are stupid and they will trust me again or at least give me shelter. Clarke will make them and Bellamy will listen to her, just like he always does.

There are faces all around me. They tell me that I am selfish. I don't help others. I always put myself first. I never save anyone. I kill anything that gets in my way. I destroy people when it is convenient to me. I turn people in so that I can get away. I save my own ass and screw everybody else. Instead of helping the problem, I make it worse. Instead of sticking with my people, even the 100, I betray them.

I hate and hate and hate and do nothing but save my own ass every time. I never do the right thing.

I am still running as hard and as fast as I can.

Just when I get to the camp and collapse on the ground, I wake up. I scream as loud as I can. But the sound doesn't even sound like me. It sounds like an animal. It's terrifying.

There are faces all around me, people talking.

Eventually I can tell that Emori has her hand on my face. She isn't sick anymore. She is careful. She is gentle with me. Her expression is clean but concerned. Clarke is behind her. I want to tell them to get away from me, that I don't deserve their comfort.

But I cannot get the words out.

Clarke walks away and I am left with only Emori.

"John," she says. "Talk to me."

She's right. I should tell her what I am thinking; what I know now to be true.

"I think I'm going to hell."

 **Not the best one yet. But pretty interesting internal thoughts! Please review! Love to get some reviews on this story!**


	12. Before the Naming Ceremony

**Emori and John are talking to each other while getting dressed for the Naming ceremony. They are wondering if it is the right thing to do and what they will do about their friends.**

 **Emori POV.**

"I've never even seen fabric like this before, John," I say with a grin, slipping the dress over my hips and up my back. The servant comes over to help me, zipping it up and adjusting the straps, fixing it. Though it really does seem like it was made for me. Once the dress is on, the servant comes over to do my make up. She starts dancing brushes across my face and painting on my eyes and lips.

"You look different," John says across from me, slipping into his jacket. He looks so handsome in a suite like that one. I remember seeing him in nothing but a dingy jacket and torn dark pants. He was covered in dirt and blood, smelled horrible and his hair was practically in dreadlocks. I fell in love with a man that looked like a scoundrel. I fell in love with the man who survived despite what everyone else tried to do to him. And now I am going to become someone else along with John on another planet, far from the forgotten woods we used to make love in.

"Is that bad?" I ask him.

"You're having second thoughts," he says.

I shrug.

"Talk to me," he begs, walking over to me and holding out his hands. I take them, interlocking our fingers together and staring up at him. The servant goes to the back of my head where she starts messing with my hair. I try to ignore her as I look to John.

"I just…our friends won't be like us," she says. "They're going to die, John and we are going to live on."

"We would have died with them otherwise," John reminds me, squeezing my hands.

"Isn't that how it is supposed to be?"

"If you're asking me about God, then I don't—"

"No. Not god. We had peace on the ring. We had a family on the ring for so long, John. These people are our family. When we become one of the primes, we are becoming one with another person. Don't you think that will change us?"

"Sure it will," he agrees. "But isn't it worth it so that we can live forever? Come on, Emori. I don't want to live without you."

I take a step closer to him, ignoring the tug on my hair when I do. I brush the servant off, putting my hands to his chest and looking up at the blue sparkles that are on his face. He looks so different. I remember the caked blood, the odor, the dirt. But all of that was a part of us. I remember the way we had to survive. I remember the things we did. They don't just get to go away because we are becoming one with another person. That means we don't get to rid ourselves of our friends either.

"Echo, Raven, Monty, Harper, Bellamy, and Clarke," I tell him.

"Only two of those people are still alive," he says. "Maybe three. But we're not optimistic people."

"Do you think we're making Monty proud?" I ask.

His face drops then. He looks sad. He drops his expression, looking down at his shoes. He swallows really hard and shakes his head, tears filling the edges of his eyes. He is scared of being wrong and choosing this, betraying our friends and then ending up dead or worse. He is worried that if we don't do this, then we will not be able to survive on this planet and we will die far too early here.

He doesn't want to die. But more than that, he doesn't want me to die.

"I don't know," he admits. "Monty would have never agreed to this. But Monty and Harper are dead because they chose to live their lives and die together. All I am doing is choosing to live and die with you."

I shake my head, swallowing back the emotion that is pushing against my throat.

"You're not agreeing to die with me, John. We are giving up our bodies for something else, for someone else. This is going to be different than anything we could imagine," I say. "And we are going to have to deal with the fact that our friends will grieve us, treat us differently and then we will have to watch them die."

He looks behind him, walking away for a long moment. He faces the wall as the woman behind me finishes my hair. She goes back to my make up while John seems to be thinking. He is staring at the wall for a while. I can see his ragged breathing in the tensity of his shoulders and the shaking of his hands at his sides. Finally, the servant interrupts my gaze by putting her face directly in front of mine.

"I suppose this thing on your face is permanent?" she asks.

I want to give her a short laugh but instead I am too shocked to answer. I almost forgot that it was even there. My tattoo. She has no idea what that means to me. She has no idea that I have had that since I can remember. It is a part of me. My past is a part of me. I don't want to give that up.

"Yes it is," I tell her. She rolls her eyes and then leaves with a huff. John turns around then. I walk over to him quickly, holding onto his hand tightly with my own.

"They aren't taking our memories, are they?" I ask him.

"What? No. Why?"

"Because I want to keep them."

"Why would you want to keep them?" he asks, shocked.

"Because I have so many. This tattoo was done when I was fourteen years old. It was a sign of my strength but also it was a distraction so that people would not look to my deformity. It was so that I would be normal for a brief moment, maybe I could fit it."

"Your tattoo was a survivors move?" he asks with a growing grin.

"Yeah," I say back, smiling.

"I have memories of my mother. Very early, casting me out, wishing that she could keep me around, coming to see me in the villages nearby. I have memories of my brother before he died. I have memories of meeting you, being with you…making love under the stars on earth in the center of the woods, finally having a home in the camp for a short time, flying up to space with you, finding peace together on the ring. We were a family, John. You and I had everything we could have ever wanted on that ring."

"Do you remember the other things, Emori?" he asks, a little annoyed. "Do you remember how they chose you to go into the radiation chamber? Do you remember starving to death in the forest because we couldn't find food? Do you remember killing innocents so that we could survive? Covering yourself in someone else's blood and clothes, stealing from the dead and pretending to be someone else so that you could live?" he says, getting angry. I grab his hand and pull him close to me. I make him look at me, tilting his head toward my face.

"John," I say. "I love you and I want to live forever with you but I don't want to leave my friends."

"Then we won't," he says.

I am confused but then…

"We will use our position to help our friends as best as we can," he says. "We'll pay attention to the others and see what that alarm was, see what's going on with them and if they are really going to go through with their promise. We choose the survivors move every time."

I nod. We play it by ear.

"We choose together," I promise.

 **Hope you enjoyed! This was based off of tonight's episode, 06x12. Please review if you'd like to read more! They are appreciated!**


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